I believe in the Tao of Carrie Bradshaw. I believe the lessons learned in any episode of “Sex and the City” are worthwhile.
Maybe mistakes are what make our fate… without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart… and if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away…
Let’s be honest here, I make and have made, a lot of mistakes. There are the simple unimportant ones like the frequest grammatical mistakes that appear throughout this blog. Then there are the medium sizes ones like the butch hair cut I got few years back. Short blond hair is not becoming on someone with my huge head. And there are the bigger ones, like not apologizing. Then there are the doozies, the mistakes in judgment… the mistakes about people, the mistakes about ourselves.
Its the doozies that stay with you. Its the doozies that you can’t shake. They are the ones that haunt me. … There are so very many things that I wish I could do over. Go back and change. Shit, there are things from today that I want to go back and change. I have a terrible fear of regret. Don’t you? I am so terrified of saying “I wish I had…”
How do we forgive ourselves and accept our fate? But more importantly, when in God’s name are mistakes going to start paying off… when are the idiotic things I do, and say going to end up allowing me to fall in love, to have babies…. cause right now, as far as I can see … the mistakes I make are mostly just making me look like an ass.
I wish I had some kind of buzzer that would start going off when I entered the “Doozie Zone”… a warning that shouted… “you are about to make a HUGE mistake.” Moreover, (my mom will love that I used that word) I have started to notice that I am most frequently seen entering the “Doozie Zone” with at least a bottle of Maker’s Mark. Cause I have to tell you from where I sit … everything inside the “Doozie Zone” looks the same as everything else.
But I think my bigger question for the cosmic void today is “Does everyone feel this way? Does everyone overthink the things they do? And how, sweet void, can I stop worrying so much about the things I do and wondering if every decision is a mistake?”
But better yet, “Am I totally mistaken about the mistakes I think I’ve made?”