I have tried not to talk too much about this but after tonight show I have some things to say.
Here are the top reason why “The Bachelor” is the worst show on television and why I’ll always be a loyal viewer.
1. Jake is a douche bag.
2. Tinley’s voice is uber annoying.
3. Vienna needs to have her roots done.
4. Jakes dad is a bigger douche bag than Jake.
5. I don’t know how Tinley could maintain her fake nails if she wasn’t allowed to leave.
6. Guys – if you have shirt and the collars has buttons, use them.
7. Saying you love their smile is not as good as saying you have physical chemistry.
8. Ladies on the show… You keep saying you want to do this the right way this time… Ummmm … Newsflash.. competing on national TV against 25 other women is not the right way.
9. Dear Jakes Mom – 1984 called and it wants it’s hairdo back.
10. Oh and jumping in a pool with all your clothes doesn’t actually prove that you are fun loving.
11. And Tinley.. We really don’t care about your ex husband. So, shut the hell up about it.
12. Jake… Squinting actually doesn’t make you look smarter.
13. That tie is god awful. I mean worst tie ever.
14. Dear Jake – like morals and values would have been a better basis or marriage than “chemistry”.
15. Stop crying. Seriously.
16. Even the dog is depressed about this choice. (credit: Lindy Robertson)
17. Poor Tinley… I know, babe, that hiccp crying thing is a tough.
18. Stop saying you are sorry. Seriously.
19. No! Tinley! Don’t beg.
20. Finally, Jake is honest “there is a part of me that isn’t COMING naturally”
21. The railing scene was a beaut… Oh Jakey… You look so pained.
22. Why are they whispering?
23. The montage just made me vomit… 25. Does Jake’s hair appear thicker and more lush in the ATFR show? Maybe a little rogaine in the off season? (credit: Melissa Maher)
26. I swear if I ever hear the song “On the Wings of Love” ever again … I will cut someone.
27. I have never heard the word Chemistry used so much… Like not even that much in chemistry class.
28. Don’t say you love Tinley when you are engaged to someone else. Boo. (credit: all the girls at girls Saras)
29. “Vienna is my baby.” I totally threw up in my mouth.
30. Realization: Jake is just horny. All he talks about is physical.
31. Vienna got her roots done for the ATFR show! Yay you. She actually looks a lot better. Wait, did she get a nose job? Did she get Tinley’s nose?
32. Blissful. Ugh.
33. The dance scene is sheer television brilliance. OMG… throw some road flares around that… It’s a wreck!
34. How can Ali take off work, now? WTF?
Glad I watched but I have an overwhelming sense of relief that’s it over.