As I so often do, I've found myself laying in bed with a billion thoughts running through my head. Please note, that apparently THOUGHTS are the only part of Sherry Woodard that like to run. And they love it, my thoughts could run that Ultra Marathon thing… you know where crazy people run like 1,250 miles or something. My crazy thoughts are Ultra Marathoners.
As I lie here, I keep coming back to the same thing and since this has helped me before; I walked down the hall (ok, the hall is like 2 feet) to the computer to tell the cosmic void about my worries.
So here goes and forgive me if I ramble or don’t make sense… this is truly a peak inside my brain.
I don’t feel like I live in the present. Make no mistake, I recognize the paradox that I am presenting. I’ve spent my entire professional career as a planner. So the present isn't really supposed to be my gig. For years, that was actually my title. Planner, Corporate Events. Senior Planner, Corporate Events. I am supposed to plan. I was created to plan. I make to do lists about making to do lists.
But has all my planning made me miss the joy before me?
What I mean is this… As I've slowed down a little bit and started taking time for more personal experiences I noticed that I am consistently jumping ahead. I am constantly wondering what’s next and headed to the next thing. I worry about tomorrow more than today. Marla and Holly will attest to this, I am constantly on my phone looking for the next funny conversation, or witty face book update and I think that maybe I miss out on the conversation that I should be in, you know the one with the people in the room.
So how does one go about just experiencing the joy of the day, of the moment, and not worry and wonder tomorrow?
I always wanted to be one of those people that just asks questions in conversations. Instead I am constantly thinking ahead in the convo to what I’ll say next. My friend Stacie is absolutely brilliant at conversation. I mean it, she asks the best questions. I’ll talk to her for awhile and never realize that I haven’t ask her a single thing. How do you become like that? How do you exist in the moment… ask the question, and simply go where the answer takes you.
Somehow I am able to not worry about getting things like my car registration renewed. But if I say something wrong, I will stew about it for days. Days I tell you.
And don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the present. I cherish the experiences I have each day and see the joy in them. So I guess I am not talking as much about actions – as I am about the moments of personal connection with people.
How do I live in those more richly?
Again, I don’t have the answers, so I am simply sending this out to the cosmic void. But just be prepared, if I become crazy intense in the next few weeks and ask you lots and lots of questions… I haven’t finally gone crazy. I am simply trying to bask in the joy of the connection with you.
Unless you work at Walgreen’s. If you work at Walgreen’s – I see no joy in our future