I am sitting on yet another Continental flight. There is a man sitting next to me who has
been able to sleep in the middle seat the entire time. First, I am terrified that he is going to
awake at any moment and read the contents of my screen. Second, I am terrified that at any moment his
head is going to fall to my shoulder, and frankly I am not sure the last time
his hair was washed.
All that is neither here nor there, the point is that I’ve
had some time to sit and stew. I went to
a meditation class on Saturday and I don’t think you are supposed to let your
thoughts race like that – I was a failure at meditation class. Unfortunately it is what my thoughts have
been doing for the past few weeks – racing. I’ve stopped now for a few hours and I have no
online purse auctions, no repeat episode of Criminal Minds or online Words with
Friends games to distract me. I finished
my book and my other one is in my bag in the overhead compartment. I think we’ve already covered the fact that
there is a soundly sleeping man to my left. It was Slaughterhouse
Five, in case you were wondering. It
made no sense to me, so I am going to have to call Mr. Borowicz, my high school
English teacher to get him to explain it.
I decided to come to my adoring public to try to expel my racing
thoughts by, as always, sending them out to the cosmic void.
In case you are wondering, I am one of those people that needs
to solve their problems by taking action.
My problem lately has been spinning thoughts and my action today is to
tell the void about them. As you know I
do this a lot and its helpful. The best
part is the people that say “I do that, too” or “I totally agree” or the ones
that tell me I make them feel a little less crazy by sharing my crazy.
So here goes today’s cosmic question: How do you become one of those responsible
people in the world? You know the people the change air filters, get their oil
changed, renew their registrations on time, do laundry regularly, send cards,
keep up with their belongings… how do I get to be one of those people?
I’ve been causing myself miles of heartache and heartburn
lately by just not being responsible.
Oh, I am reasonable about some things – like I get stuff done at work,
and I am totally responsible about checking facebook and updating my status.
But I want to be the kind of person that makes responsible
decisions. I want to remember to water
my plants. I want to wake up 15 minutes
early instead of 20 minutes late. I want
to know how much money is actually in my checking account and not just wait for
my debit card to get declined. I want to
get my tires rotated. I want to go
workout. But some neuron or whatever is broken in my brain. It misfires on a regular basis.
When my alarm goes off, it says… you are fine, sleep some
more.. . you can totally make it to the office in 10 minutes. And its fine to roll in with wet hair and no
makeup. It misfires and says “Honda has
clearly overstated the oil changing guidelines, you can drive another 2000
miles.” It explodes and says, its fine
go to Nordstrom’s they won’t turn off the cable for like 30 more days.
So if you, or the cosmic void has an answer for this… I
would love it. Because right now the
only solution I can come up with is to find a husband that can do all those
things. I think Big Sara has gotten
bored with having to bail me out of my dramatic situations. I need a husband who thinks I am quirky and
endearing for never remembering life’s little to dos or caring until it’s too
The plants are dead, the cables off, the car won’t start,
I’m 10 minutes late … those are endearing, right?