Well, I believe in using words instead of letters.  Today, adoring public you are going to get a rant.  This is about to be a rant worthy of Big Sara.  I am not going to yell about sagging pants, the oil spill, or the economy.  I am about to throw down about people that have stopped using complete WORDS in communications.

I am not even going to ask you to use a complete sentence; I just want you to use a complete word.  I know this will offend some of my loyal readers but that’s just the chance I have to take.  Some of you have offended me by doing exactly what I am about to talk about.  I can’t lie, when you do it, it makes me love you a little bit less.

If you send me a text that says the following:

r u n?

You can now expect the following response from me:

If you continue to be a complete lazy SOB that can’t type out complete words, then please delete my number. I have nothing to say to you.  Because I think you just told me to run and you were really asking “Are you in”?” So I am crazy pissed that I just took off in a sprint because you are a poor communicator.

I am without a doubt at the end of my rope on this one… its 2010… your phone has a full keyboard, type out the whole word.  I mean for the love of God, most of our phones have auto complete and prompt you with the word.

Do not say THX to me.  If you appreciate whatever I have done enough to say THANK YOU … then f-ing say THANK YOU.  Take the 4 extra seconds to type the whole word.

Do not use x instead of s.  EVER.  Unless you are going to start calling me XHERRY.

Don’t put a z instead of an s either.  That’s just as pathetic.

It’s YOU… not u.  U is a letter.  YOU is a word.  If you use U… then YOU are an asshole.

And stop using letters for statements… No, I will not TTYL.  What the hell?  And if you type IMO instead of “In My Opinion”… well then I don’t give a shit about your opinion.

I am not sending this one out to the cosmic void.  I am sending this one to each and every one of you that abuse the alphabet by whoring it out. 

Stop it. Right now. I mean right now.