This morning started great. I woke up before the alarm – ready to go. My friend John came over and helped load my car onto the trailer. Which was great until I blinded him with the headlights and then I tried to open to door to get out. The door only opens a crack and hits the side of the trailer. Shit balls.

This is important for two reasons. One, at 6:30 this morning if you were on Lawrence Street you saw a black lab named Tugger jump out an open car window into a man’s arms. And then you saw me slide out the driver’s side window like I was Bo, mother f-ing, Duke. Though I was far less graceful and my jeans weren’t as tight. Second, I hadn’t loaded ANY of my clothes into said trailered vehicle yet. Shit balls.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully with the exception of loading a closet full of clothes into a Honda Accord using only the windows and sunroof.  Note, the car was totally on a trailer while I was throwing things through the sunroof.  The inside of my car was the definition of a hot mess. Then there was a tinsy tiny temporary setback in the form of me having a panic attack about all these changes. So I flipped out and cried for a little bit, ok, a lot a bit. The tile on my kitchen floor is quite cold but very comforting.

But hey, it’s still early and this is a new start.

I hit the road at a little before 11. Quick stop on the way out, then Interstate 45 – North by 11:15. Holla.

It’s now 11:55 and I am sitting at a Discount Tire just off of said Interstate 45 – North. Because about one mile into my new start, the back tire on the f-ing trailer blew. Into about million pieces. Which was fine, because I was already crying from my panic attack this morning and hadn’t stopped.

Right now, I am waiting for them to put a new tire on the trailer that actually isn’t even the right size – it’s a half an inch bigger than the other 3. But no other Discount Tire in the whole of the Houston Metroplex has the size tire I need.  Of course they don’t.

However, this is a minor detail and the tire they have will get me to Dallas according to my new friend Mike at Discount Tires. I think Mike at Discount Tires is scared of me. Not because I am mean but because I was just crying so much. The hiccup really startled him. And its hard to explain to him that, yes, the tire is upsetting but I am crying because I don’t feel like I have closure. But I mean, what is closure anyway? I think it’s something women made up to make us feel better about being depressed. But again, Mike didn’t need that information. He just needed the tire size.

Today I learned that the secret to getting good service at car places is to just cry and hiccup. It makes them work REALLY FAST. I mean, they pulled the truck up to the front door, left it running, held the door for me and waved when I drove off.  That kind of speed.

I think God might hate me.  I don’t think Mike at Discount Tires does. I think he pities me. I wonder if he’s single?

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