It’s February in Dallas. Which means snow and ice and being happily trapped inside. It’s a Facebook frenzy of snow day photos of kids and dogs. That’s part of the trouble with being a single non pet owner during inclement weather – I have nothing to post on Facebook. All I have to offer is a picture of my backyard.
As a singleton snow days are a bit less interesting. There is no blizzard sex, no snowman builds… there are marathon’s of House and the ability to go days without a shower or getting out of pajamas.
But it’s days like today that make me a bit frustrated with my single status. You see, in my head I would be married to a Marlboro Man/Cave Man type that would not only find it rewarding but also believe it necessary to manage the following aspects of all of this. He’d be up early to shovel snow off the sidewalks, he’d have scraped the ice of his giant 4×4 pick up truck and built us a fire even though we don’t have a fireplace.
He’d drive me to work or at least the grocery store and he’d be making a big ole pot of Chili or Gumbo. And he’d demand blizzard sex. So instead, I’ll just sit here watching episodes of House sitting in a cold house since I don’t really know how to program the heater. I’ll eat Goldfish and drink Dr Pepper. I’ll stare at the sidewalk wishing it was shoveled.
Maybe later I’ll get the trashcan lid and sled down the hill on my driveway. Unless there is a man out there that has shoveled his sidewalk, scraped his windshield and wants to come over to do all that at my house… in exchange for blizzard sex followed by Frito Chili Pie.
Until then, its back to House and Law and Order.
February 4, 2011 at 12:00 pm
You know what the problem with snow is? It’s in freakin’ Dallas instead of Houston. All we have is sheets of ice and idiots trying to drive on it.
Also, btw. I’m not single, however I’m enjoying the House marathon. I just made fancy pigs-in-the-blankets. (Omaha steaks ftw!) Mike’s here, but he’s ignoring me and working from home. There is a lot of grunting and throwing of objects, none of which have anything to do with blizzard sex.
That whole scenario with your Marlboro/Man Cave man is a fantasy. The reality would be more like you making some tasty frozen snacks, writing a blog entry that talked about snow and the fact that your man is working from home while you want to have lots of sex. Grass is not necessarily greener, toots.
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February 4, 2011 at 2:08 pm
And guess what your married sister is doing on her snow day? Eating goldfish, drinking Dr Pepper, and watching “The Good Wife.” The only difference … you don’t have to fight over the remote. Enjoy.
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February 4, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I am also eating Goldfish, the flavor blasted ones, and drinking my 2nd DP of the day while watching American Idol on the DVR! My husband is asleep, but made something in the crock-pot that smells like burnt onions and is stinkin’ up the house! Your fantasy snow day might be better than most of our reality snow days!
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