There is this Yogi Berra quote that I’ve always thought was funny but never really applied to my own life. It goes like this:
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
Last year I came to a fork in the road, and I didn’t take it. I stood still for bit and then I turned around and went back to what is safe and good and comfortable. And I don’t regret that choice, not for a second. Sometimes, playing it safe for a while is a good thing. It allows you time to heal or find yourself or that other bullshit that needs to be done to get back on your feet.
The problem with my safe place is that unless I was removed kicking and screaming, I probably wouldn’t ever leave again. I like safe things. Like interior closets during a storm, airbags, and the bar thing on roller coasters.
That fork in the road that I came to last year and ran away from… I find myself back at the same fork and Yogi Berra’s line keeps running through my head. And I wonder what’s holding me back, what’s keeping me here, what’s stopping me from taking the fork in the road. It doesn’t really matter which one I take… both will have good and bad, both will have success and failure, both will have love and loss… just like the road behind me.
So I have chosen to take one tiny step forward, toward the fork in the road, one step toward something totally and completely different from anything I have ever done before. I have no clue what the next year is going to look like but I know this… my road will be paved with stories. I am going to give myself at least one year to tell stories. It’s the only gift I know for sure that I have… the ability to make even the most embarrassing situation into a funny story that people can relate to….
My grammar is terrible, so lucky for me Big Sara is retiring. She’ll have plenty of time to edit. I have no idea how to promote myself. Thank goodness Ali and Mike are internet Gods and believe in me, I have no idea how I’ll make ends meet – so please pray that oil and gas prices continue to rise – and that someone will hire me to do something part-time. Since we all know I cannot feasibly work part-time in retail and actually bring home a paycheck.
What I do know is that as absolutely terrified as I am right now, in this very moment… it finally feels like something fits right.
So, Yogi…. Here we go buddy… I refuse to stand still for a moment longer. I am taking the fork in the road.