I’ve debated about writing this post and even sharing it. You see, I wonder… does anyone really give a shit what my resolutions are for 2017? Then I decided that I didn’t really care if you cared or not. I needed to share my one overwhelming goal for this year.
Sure, I could do lots of things like eat better, exercise, meditate, volunteer… there are a million things I could outline to do this year. But I’ve landed on one. My one resolution for this year is to be steady.
Aristotle once said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Ole Aristotle was a wise man, I think. This particular quote will stand as my mantra for the year of our Lord two-thousand and seventeen.
You see, adoring public, I live in either the black or the white. There is no gray for me. There never has been. If I decide to exercise – I will do three-a-days for a week and burn out. If I decide to diet, I stop eating. If I want spirituality – I go to seminary. Ok, not really, but you get the picture. The highs and lows allow me to experience things on a different level than a lot of people. I know true exhilarating joy. I know passion. I know debilitating sadness and I carry it with me much longer than others. I know heartbreak. I don’t want to give those up, but I’ve come to place in my life where I need to be…. Consistent. Steady. True. Habitual.
By this I don’t mean boring, but I would very much like to know the bliss of an average day. The comfort of repetition. The steadfastness that comes from routine. My one fear is that to do this, I must be numb. I don’t want to lose passion and joy or even heartbreak for steadiness. So this year my experiment is to see if I can implement routine for myself, not just physical routine but emotional routine. Meaning, I won’t jump off on a bandwagon or give a project 120% and then fizzle out. I won’t make plans and bail on it. I simply want to be steady.
Friends have asked me what I was looking for in a man and I always had the same response. “A steady hand.” I suppose I always believed that if I married a man that was steady and calm – it would bring me into the gray. I don’t think it will. Or maybe I don’t think I’ll ever marry. Regardless of the reason, I’ve decided to try to be my own steady hand.
Here’s to a year of routine, steadiness and consistency. God, I hope this works.