I turn forty this year.  In fact, next month.  As I approach the last few weeks of my thirties, this birthday has been consuming my thoughts.  You see, I’m not taking this turn very well.

Maybe it is because I’m not at all who I thought I’d be at forty. 

Maybe it is just because it is a milestone. 

Maybe it is because I’m comparing myself to others. 

Maybe it is because I’m comparing myself to my mother… who had a big house, a Jaguar, a teenager and a tween when she was forty. 

Or maybe it is simply because birthdays always demand reflection.

I don’t really know why I’m taking forty so hard, but I am.  I got to thinking about it and I asked the cosmic void to help me try to see what’s good about forty.  And she answered.  

Here, in no particular order, are the reasons I came up with to embrace forty and maybe, just maybe, even like it:

  1.  Because, honestly, I look better at forty than I did at twenty. I’m kind of hot now.
  2. Because it is fun to say you’re forty and have people be like “No way, I thought you were like 34” – cause my face is still like 90% wrinkle free… a blessing from years of being the chubby girl.
  3. Because I would not, in a million years, want to go back and relearn all the lessons I’ve accrued over the past forty years.
  4. Because people call me “Ma’am” and men get the door and because I do not have to pretend to be anything I am not.  I get to be me and not give af.
  5. Because I have friendships that I can say I’ve had for thirty plus years (Looking at you Corey Sisk.)

    IMG_0080 10.49.43 AM

  6. Because it’s a milestone, I feel obligated to celebrate big. For years, I joked about registering when I turned forty.  So you know, what.  I did.   I want some china and crystal. Frankly, after 20 years of weddings, I think its time I got my own china and crystal.  Wedgwood Lismore Gold Lace China and Waterford Lismore Crystal, in case you were wondering.  I’m registered at Dillard’s.  Not kidding.  You can find it here.
    china                    crystal
  7. Because I’m forty and fiercely independent. I’m making my own way by my own rules.  I get to decide what’s best for me and what isn’t.  This may sound selfish, and maybe it is, but there is something very liberating in the knowledge that I don’t have to really consider anyone but myself in any decision that I make.
  8. Because, really, I’ve led a pretty charmed life. Except for my one big tragedy when I lost my Dad young… I haven’t had too many troubles.  I’ve been surrounded by a huge group of loving and fun friends.  I have the best family a girl could ask for and
    the coolest niece and nephew, ever.  Truly, my cup runneth over even though I often forget that it does.
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  9. Because there are plenty of people in the world that haven’t had the opportunities that I’ve had in the past 40 years. I’ve traveled all over the United States and most of Europe.  I’ve done that because of my parents and my work.  I’ve seen the world and understand that I’m only a tiny part of it. I believe that kind of global perspective is pretty important.
  10. Finally, because while I might not be who I thought I’d be… I am exactly who I am supposed to be, where I’m supposed to be and with whom I’m supposed to be. I don’t claim to understand it or the why of it,  but I trust it. Or at least I’m trying really, really hard to trust it.